Grace Under Pressure Radio is a podcast about becoming a woman of courage, confidence, and candor.
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Ep—10 Candor: Speaking the truth in love

Speaking the truth in love

Speaking the truth in love

Our topic is Candor for the next 5 weeks 🙂 Candor is being able to speak the truth in love

Definition of candor— Candor | Definition of candor by Merriam-Webster freedom from prejudice or malice: fairness. 3. archaic: kindliness. 4. unreserved, honest, or sincere expression: forthrightness.

  • Candor can mean not speaking or leaving a situation that’s unhealthy
  • Women don’t have to be like men.
  • Just because the world says to get what we want we have to push to get what we want doesn’t mean we have to be that way.
  • Don’t give away your power to someone who doesn’t have the right to hold it. Walking away from a situation before you lose control allows you to keep your power and not give it away.
  • There’s a time for righteous indignation. But not every fight is that time.
  • Exhaustion can make us snap and say what we don’t intend.
  • Graciousness allows us to be wise and recognize our own fatigue, irritation, hunger, etc. so we take ourselves out of a situation rather than stay and let it go “south”.
  • Boundaries are a time to speak up. Hold your ground when your boundaries are crossed.
  • A firm voice doesn’t make a person rude. Firmness is important when boundaries are disrespected. A woman is not one of the many cuss words because she holds her boundaries.
  • Ask yourself: Do I feel like I have the right to my own boundaries? Do I feel like I’m always being stepped on? What words can I say that will hold my boundaries?
  • Learn to say “no” when I don’t want to do something or have something done.
  • Do people hide what they don’t know how to deal with? When we hide things, that doesn’t mean others are being unfair. Speak up.
  • Life is not fair. Throw out the window the idea that life and people are always supposed to be fair.
  • Some people do want to act miserably. We don’t have to stay around those people.
  • Ask: Am I tired or irritated or angry? Is the noise level or input level over-stimulating? If the answer is yes, it’s better to take ourselves out of that situation rather than say or do something we’d regret. Take time to refresh and rejuvenate so we can be kind, honest, and sincere.
  • Speak the truth in love to other people AND to yourself. Know when you can’t handle what’s going on around you.
  • Our integrity takes a hit when we act against our internal sense of self and intention. Then our self-image gets lowered.
  • Unreserved doesn’t mean no filter on our mouths. It means not holding back compliments, honesty, grace. Being sincere and kind in our expression so we raise others up and not tear others down.
  • Self-discipline means having the discipline to leave when we’re in a weak spot internally.
  • How do you feel when someone else always has to have the last word or a “dig”? It’s crossing a boundary. Speaking the truth in love might offer a question: When situation was resolved, why did you feel you needed to say more? The question gives the other person something to think about. We don’t have to make them understand they’re wrong. But asking leading questions at least gives them something to think about.
  • It’s not up to us to heal all the other people in the world of hurt and malice. That’s God’s job. God is the only fairness and healing. It’s up to that person and God to work those issues through. I have to leave it with them because I can’t make another person be what I want them to be.
  • If being kind, honest, sincere and holding to personal standards is important, then pay attention to whether you should stay in or leave a situation. If you have the possibility of going against your set of standards, what will you do? Think it through in advance to avoid being a hypocrite.
  • Do you want your words to bless others or act as a stumbling block?
  • Ask: Can I maintain my dignity in this moment?
  • To break the cycles of bad habits or behavior, we have to choose to act and react differently than we have up to that moment. Changing our behavior can change the outcome.
  • Dig deep for your gem of wisdom so you don’t keep spitting in the wind. Sometimes we get humiliated by someone else or on our own. Learn from that and don’t keep spitting in the wind.
  • Your integrity, honesty, genuineness of being help you like the person in the mirror.

Did you miss the topics of Courage or Confidence? 

Episode 1: The difference between courage and Confidence

Episode 2: Confidence strategies

Episode 3: Behaving like a confident woman

Episode 4: Teaching our daughters confidence

Episode 5: Courage (Facing our Fears)

Tips for resources:

Grace Under Pressure Radio on iTunes

Gems of Wisdom: For a Treasure-filled Life (paperback book)

Gems of Wisdom: For a treasure-filled life. (paperback book)

Gems of Wisdom: For a treasure-filled life. (paperback book)

Available for individual reading, group Bible study, or book clubs. Group discounts also available. Please contact me and let me know how many copies you need. I’ll also be happy to Skype, Google Hangout, Facetime into your group for presentations and discussions.

Thanks for spending time with me,



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09 – P.E.A.R.S. Tasty Tips for Everyday Courage

P.E.A.R.S. Prepare, Expect, Assess, Referrals, Sketch...

P.E.A.R.S. Prepare, Expect, Assess, Referrals, Sketch…

Regardless of the challenge we’re facing, this acronym, P.E.A.R.S. can help in the battle. No, not the tasty pears. But remember these tips to overcome fear.

  • Prepare: Begin observing, reading, getting educated.
  • Expect: Pay attention to what happens repeatedly. What can you expect will happen again?
  • Assess: What do you know already? What do you still need to learn?
    • Recognize when emotion is in the way. Rather than reactive (emotional), become proactive in finding new ways to handle the situation.
  • Referrals: Who has gone through the situation before? Who is an expert you can turn to for help? Ask for referrals to experts. Glean help and opportunity for change. Ask for tools to help you cope.
    • The more you know, the more you’ll become confident with the struggle and finding the journey through the struggle.
    • Don’t make just one person responsible for supporting you. Look for more than one person so you create a safety network and each person helps carry the weight rather than overloading one person. They might not have all the answers either.
  • Sketch: What’s the plan? Write it, draw it out, create step-by-step plans to overcome the problem.

What will you do now?
The plan doesn’t work unless you start it.

*** Coming soon: a new Grace Under Pressure Radio book series


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08 – The Trap of Short-term Thinking

  • Fear happens, the question is how will you handle it?
  • The story of nearly losing my son to strangling on a wire.
  • Short-term thinking comes from being unprepared.
  • Short-term thinking causes reaction and defensiveness.
  • Training for potential disasters can be used in parallel situations. That training gives us the ability to transfer logical possibilities to call on skills.
  • Thinking through future possibilities allows us to mentally prepare for something that can be challenging or emergent.
  • Are you a short or long-term thinker?
  • Do you think through and prepare for repetitive situations?
  • Are you physically prepared?
  • Everything we’ve experienced helps us in how to handle the unknown.
  • Build confidence in small things to build toward future experience.
  • Courage isn’t just for you. It’s how you help other people.
  • People who have short-term thinking tend to have quick-fire emotional reactions to negative situations.
  • To overcome something that’s hard, mentally focus on 1, 5, or 10 years into the future. Ask: what’s the result if I do… or if I don’t do… What could I do differently? What would be a kind or loving way to handle it?
  • Take it to prayer to bring God into it. Prayer helps us overcome attitude problems.
  • How will your actions/reactions affect people in the future? Children, grandchildren, others?
  • Pop over to and click on the Contact Me page. Drop me a note and share if you have a topic you’d like to hear covered on the Grace Under Pressure Radio show.
  • For more on this topic, consider reading Gems of Wisdom: For a treasure-filled life.

Did you miss an episode on Courage? 

Episode 05
Episode 05.5

Episode 06